Hey Savannah, First of all, love the two pictures you have on your introduction. It is very cool to see where cryptids originate from and also the visuals that distinguish them. Same goes for the second picture, and spooky that we may have the Ozark Howler in nearby land. I love your introduction! The theme of going on an adventure together, and how you invite the reader to join while acting like you are talking directly to the reader is quite encapsulating. A great job pulling the reader in. Coming into contact with Bessie reminds me of a Phineas and Ferb episode where they found the Lake Nose monster and that monster destroyed cameras as well. Are you going to explain why and/or how cryptids hide? Will these monsters have deep and thoughtful personalities or will they be more instinctual? I suggest giving each monster at least a base personality which it sounds like you will be doing. I think that would add depth to them and open more paths for your stories to go. I am excited to see where you take this story and where the adventure is going next!
Hi Savannah, I like the style of having an in-character narrator for the introduction. It makes the story feel more immersive and adds a bit of fun to it. I wonder if the narrator is going to have their own character arc regarding the cryptids as the story progresses. Will they realize that it is better for the cryptids to stay hidden? Or maybe they will simply fail to catch any proof of the cryptids, growing increasingly maddened by each consecutive failure? Either way it seems like this will be a fun story to see develop. When the narrator mentioned that they had visited five of the cryptids already, was that a hint toward what is to come? I think it might help tie the story together if you added more hints toward what sort of cryptids we will be encountering on the “safari,” as I assume you do not plan to cover all of them. You could maybe have the narrator tell the reader what to wear that might give a clue as to the environment the cryptid is found in (like wearing galoshes to hint at a swamp location).
Hey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, love the two pictures you have on your introduction. It is very cool to see where cryptids originate from and also the visuals that distinguish them. Same goes for the second picture, and spooky that we may have the Ozark Howler in nearby land. I love your introduction! The theme of going on an adventure together, and how you invite the reader to join while acting like you are talking directly to the reader is quite encapsulating. A great job pulling the reader in. Coming into contact with Bessie reminds me of a Phineas and Ferb episode where they found the Lake Nose monster and that monster destroyed cameras as well. Are you going to explain why and/or how cryptids hide? Will these monsters have deep and thoughtful personalities or will they be more instinctual? I suggest giving each monster at least a base personality which it sounds like you will be doing. I think that would add depth to them and open more paths for your stories to go. I am excited to see where you take this story and where the adventure is going next!
Hi Savannah,
ReplyDeleteI like the style of having an in-character narrator for the introduction. It makes the story feel more immersive and adds a bit of fun to it. I wonder if the narrator is going to have their own character arc regarding the cryptids as the story progresses. Will they realize that it is better for the cryptids to stay hidden? Or maybe they will simply fail to catch any proof of the cryptids, growing increasingly maddened by each consecutive failure? Either way it seems like this will be a fun story to see develop. When the narrator mentioned that they had visited five of the cryptids already, was that a hint toward what is to come? I think it might help tie the story together if you added more hints toward what sort of cryptids we will be encountering on the “safari,” as I assume you do not plan to cover all of them. You could maybe have the narrator tell the reader what to wear that might give a clue as to the environment the cryptid is found in (like wearing galoshes to hint at a swamp location).